Imago

Imago Relationship Therapy

Imago Relationship Therapy is a systematic approach to marital and relationship issues. Developed by Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph.D., Imago therapy is a synthesis of pivotal aspects of other well-known theories. A few of those theories are Object Relations, Gestalt Systems, Cognitive Behavioral, and Humanistic. Their books on Imago Relationship Therapy, Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples; Keeping the Love You Find: A Personal Guide; Giving the Love That Heals: A Guide for Parents; and three companion books on meditation and exercises, have sold more than two million copies and have been translated into more than 50 languages.

Imago is the Latin word for "image". Dr. Hendrix maintains that: (a) we are born into relationship; (b) as children, we were wounded in relationship; and therefore (c) as adults, healing of these wounds can take place in relationship. Imago theory states that at a very young age our brain forms a composite picture of both the positive and negative characteristics of our major caregivers.

On an unconscious level, we are attracted to an individual who holds these same traits. Initially, we believe this person is "the one" who will meet all our unmet needs from childhood. In the romantic phase, we tend to see only those positive traits in our partner. What many couples don't understand is that the romantic phase is supposed to end. And, when it does, it seems that our partner is only interested in meeting his/her own needs and that ours will go unmet.

This new phase is known as the Power Struggle. While in the power struggle, our partner's negative traits appear to predominate in our relationship, and thus recreates (or triggers) our wounds from childhood. The Power Struggle phase is full of criticism, bitterness, anger, and disillusionment. Many couples separate or divorce before finding resolution. Unfortunately, these couples do not realize that their partner holds the blueprint to healing. According to Dr. Hendrix, the purpose of a committed relationship is to finish childhood.

Imago Relationship Therapy provides such an avenue: a safe and secure way for couples to move from an "unconscious" relationship to a “conscious and intentional" one. Couples, however, must have the proper tools in order to make this paradigm shift in their relationship. Imago's intentional dialogue is one of many tools taught to couples desiring to find the path of real love. Reality love blossoms when their relationship becomes conscious and intentional.

"This workshop gave an incredible amount of information and skills in a short time. It has begun a powerful transformation in my marriage." R.J.